Twilight, page 11-20.

Note: This assumes that you've read the page before reading the commentary.

Page eleven.  Sacrifice?  Eh?  And why is she worried about being with her dad?  It's a little weird that she doesn't actually call her dad., um...  Dad.  Ah.  They're not... verbose.  "Using or containing a great and usually an excessive number of words; wordy."

Page twelve.   Once again: If she doesn't like Forks, and she could have chosen to stay at home, why is she still going to Forks?

"I'd already said my goodbyes to the sun."  Um...  Okay.  Like it's perpetually raining there or something...

Okay, so she doesn't like being driven around in a police car.  Understandable, I guess.  But it seems as if Charlie drives it everywhere, even off duty, or something.

She isn't allowed to call him Charlie to his face.  I get the impression that Bella really, really doesn't like Charlie.  I mean, he seems nice enough...

Page thirteen.  Does it really matter what kind of car... or truck... your first vehicle is as long as it runs?

"I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory." Oh, come on now.  Is that really necessary?

Page fourteen.  Is it really so hard to just call him dad?  And oh no, I got a free truck, this sucks!  Geez...  Charlie already got it for her and everything.  She should be grateful.

Page fifteen.  Not much to say about this page.  Awkward silence.

Page sixteen.  She just said it was beautiful, yet it's too green?  Isn't that what's beautiful about it?  Eh, whatever.

It's a solid truck, okay.  She sees herself in it and likes it.  Which is funny, because it's an old faded thing that really needs a new paint job.  Then she whines a tiny bit about how bad the next day is going to be.

Page seventeen.  Aw.  Now, if that was me, I'd probably burst into tears over the nostalgia or something.

Why is sharing a bathroom with Charlie so bad?  It's not like he's a rapist or anything, right?  Riiiiight?

I don't have to smile, blah blah blah.  Why doesn't she like Charlie?

Page eighteen.  Um.  Why is she crying?

Damn, I wish my school was that small.  Oh, I'm from the big city, that means I'm a freak.  Bella has a weird definition of "freak."

Tan, sporty, blonde, blah blah blah.  Every single person I know who looks like that is actually a raging bitch.  Pfft.

She describes herself as ivory skinned.  Ivory: "Of a pale or grayish yellow to yellowish white."  That's...  That's disgusting.

Page nineteen.  She's worse at sports than I am, and I don't play sports.  Ditz.

Her skin is very... clear?  What?  Almost transluscent?  Is she from Mars or something?  She grew up in Phoenix for God's sake, you'd think she'd have more color.

Niches are everything, yes.

She doesn't really get along with anybody, eh?  Sucks for her.

Last page of the day, people.  Get out the Prozak, everybody.

Again, why is she crying?  You know, rain can put me to sleep pretty fast.  Heh.

Oh Christ, she's waken up in Silent Hill.

Quiet boring breakfast, yawn.

Next time, on Twilight: Probably more whining.












 

Twilight, page 1-10.

 More like 7-10 because of the title page and stuff, but in the future I plan on doing ten pages at a time.  The longer it drags on, the more fun it is, right?  Right.

So this is how the book starts.  How... well, I don't know.  Uninteresting?  I guess it's supposed to symbolize Bella and Edward's relationship. 

First page.  Is she seriously trying to pull that showing the very end of the series before it even starts bullshit?  This is gonna bug me right 'till I get to the end now.

Chapter one begins.  Farewell gesture?  I dunno, I usually just wear whatever happens to be clean at the moment.  So, Forks is gloomy.  Alright.

And now the whining.   She loves the blistering heat?  Screw that, man.  I'd rather freeze in the snow than burn in the desert.  Okay, so her mother looks like her, except older with laugh lines.  I... don't know what Bella looks like, so what was the point of that description?  Rather bland, if you ask me.  Her mother also keeps saying she doesn't have to go.  If she hates it so much, why in the world is she going? *headdesk*

Then she describes her mother as if she's mentally disabled or something.  Mentions someone named Phil.  Doesn't say who the hell Phil is.  Sigh.  So she says she wants to go, which is a lie, and allegedly she's a terrible liar.  Oh, boo hoo, convincing lie blah blah blah.  You obviously don't have to go to Forks, you moron! 

Next ten pages whenever I feel like it, bitches.

Awriiiight.

Don't worry, eager rabid Twilight fans, I'll get to pissing you off pretty soon.  It's pretty late right now, you know.  I've been inspired by a similar blog I stumbled upon.  Apologies, I've forgotten the name.  I don't know exactly when I'll start, but I might end up doing it in just a bit.  Because I'm not compulsive.  Nope.  It won't be as high a priority as my Let's Play either, so don't expect frequent updates.  Even though my update schedule is rather random.

You know, I just got an amazing idea.  Maybe I'll just use this blog for my Let's Play, too.  Hm.